Words: Jaime Gottlieb

You think you’ve got it bad. Try dealing with two rounds of PMS a month. That’s like a 24-round championship boxing match. And we’re not talking about some sissy amateur bout. Title match all the way, baby. When I started dating women, the rules changed. Guys were easy; “yes” meant “yes,” “no” meant there’s still a chance.  With women, they give you that look and you’re putty -- “yes” is “yes ma’am”. “No” is… well, there is no “no”. When it comes to dating women, believe me fellas, I feel your pain.  That’s why I’m here to offer you a true lesbian guide to straight dating. That’s right, boys.

As a lesbian, you’d think I’d have an advantage. I’m a woman, they’re women. Easy, right? Well, I admit I’ve had my challenges too. In the beginning, I went into it like any guy would, where in my mind a+b=c, but that’s just not how women work, do they? Oh no, no. There are layers of unsaid things, things they want you to somehow magically already know about from day one -- “Why would you bring me to a steak house? You know I’ve been doing this Master Cleanse.” -- you were just trying to do something nice. Now, having been in the business long enough, I know never to assume anything and always listen when they speak. Women like to hint, men need it straight (no pun intended).

So, as a woman with a number of years as a lesbian, and quite a few years before clarity (yes, I used to date guys), I’m here to give you the inside scoop on understanding, translating, pleasing, and just simply  dating women.  We’re not always as easy to figure out as you’d hope. Don’t I know it.

Send me your questions, and I’ll set you up some answers from an insider’s perspective. Let’s make this a fair match, shall we? And let’s just keep it clean.